I LOVE my momma. There is no other woman on earth I would rather have as my mother than her. But I have to share with you a conversation I had with her on my way to meet some friends that is completely typical so you can understand why my sense of logic may be a bit, ahem, skewed, at times.
Mom: What did you do after work today, honey?
Me: I looked for a warmer coat. But theyíre so expensive!
Mom: Well, you should have shopped for coats at the end of the season when they were on sale.
Me: Mom, I was on the other side of the world in New Zealand this year when coats where on sale.
Mom: Iím not talking about coats for you , Iím talking about coats for your kids!
Me: Um, Mom, I donít have any kids.
Mom: Iím talking about when you do have kids. You should shop when everything is on sale. And you should move back to Syracuse because itís not easy raising kids, you know. I did it by myself and itís a lot of work. At least if you move back to Syracuse I can come over and help you.
Me (deep breath): Mom, who are these phantom babies youíre always talking about? They donít even exist! I donít have any children!
Mom: I know, Iím just saying. When you do.
What does all this have to do with me buying a coat again?! Lord, help me.