Watch Me Turn 30, by Holly C.
I'm a 29-year-old New Yorker who inherited this site from my pal, Holly P., to document the final year of my twenties. Right up until I turn the big 3-0 next January, I'll use this blog to indulge my inner-narcissist by voicing the good (I can date men anywhere from ages 21 to 50 without it being scandalous) the bad (I keep getting ma'amed) and the ugly (is it possible to get cellulite on your stomach?!). Here's to waving goodbye to my youth, accepting adulthood and remembering that every ending is really just a new beginning.
the photo for July 29, 2007
DAY 181  |  July 29, 2007
I had a breakthrough today while interviewing an expert for an article Iím writing about the trend of more women choosing to have kids without partners. My source mentioned that often women grieve breakups not necessarily because of the loss of a partner, but because of the loss of having a family.

Bells started ringing in my mind and I wondered if she was talking about women just like me. What if itís not E that I miss so much as the idea of having a family?

If I were a guy, Iíd travel forever, have dozens of passionate flings, and not settle down until I was 45 with a woman ten years my junior.

But Iím not a guy. Iím on a tighter schedule because my fertility wonít last forever. And all this would be so much easier to handle if I could imagine feeling fulfilled without children. But my instinct tells me that my life wonít feel complete without being a mom. Iím definitely not ready to have babies right nowóthe thought scares the hell out of me! But the mere fact that Iím female forces me to think about it. I want the security of knowing a child will be in my life someday. Is peace of mind too much to ask?

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