Itís Sunday night in Sydney and Iím sad. I donít really know whyóI donít have any reason to be upset. Maybe Iím lonely because I havenít seen my family in months. Or maybe Iím anxious because Iím returning to New York City soon and I have no idea what the future holds. Time goes by so fast and June will be here before I know it. What will I do for work? What will it be like to see my boyfriend again? How will I readjust to city life after spending a year on the road? How have I changed?
Thinking about all the possibilities is not making me feel any better. I know worry is wasted energy, but Iíve never been good at slowing down my mind. I want to smoke a cigarette, but I quit and would only regret it tomorrow. I want to dive into a tub of chocolate cookie dough ice cream, but polishing off a pint will just make me feel worse. I want to call my sister, but sheís asleep because itís in the middle of the night back in New York. I guess thereís no quick fix for feeling blue. Iím telling myself itís okay to be sad, and Iím trying to teach myself to sit with it.